As far as olive branches go, yours was exceptionally leafless and diseased.
However, it did not fail its task, if indeed it was intended to catalyze a reaction. It's early and I'm dead tired, and my myopic eyes barely strained into focus as I was deleting the clutch of worthless email messages that flood this account daily. Only by a stroke of luck, by which I mean fortunate coincidence, did I notice your email. There is nothing I needed more this morning than a kick to the teeth to get me the fuck out of a molasses-thick torpor.
I don't remember you taking your anger out on me. I don't remember your anger at all. As far as I could tell you were on the achingly painful quest to fit in. Whether or not you succeeded is also something I'm ignorant of.
Of course I'm a coward. Overgrown with fears, I've chosen to stagnate. If everyone were as hyper-aware of the tragic fragility of every passing second, they would lock their doors as well. To take a well-rehearsed step forward would require tossing out the admittedly childish notion that the second I leave Albuquerque is the second that my parents drop dead. It's childish not because it's unlikely, it's childish because it's inevitable. I don't need that pointed out, but maybe I do need a reason to accept it.
I know I must have shit on you countless times. Not because you deserved it, or because I enjoyed it; but I was on the same quest as you. It's dictated somewhere that happiness comes only at another's expense. I apologize for all of that, I've never been without deep sympathy for those who suffered on my account. I was never thoughtless and wholeheartedly callous - which in the end only makes me that much more guilty. That particular moment was me at my weakest, don't hold on to it as a indicator of my character. It's not one.
I've got to go, thanks for provoking me.